Hi Stoners. This week I want to talk about condiments. Those spicy, salty, sticky, drippy, crunch-factor type secrets that we all turn to as the finishing touch to particular dishes. Beyond ketchup and mustard, beyond butter and jam, there are some condiment thoughts I’ve been relishing lately.
Keep reading for my current staples plus a few I’m eager to test out.
Pantry raid

My condiment selection knows no bounds. What used to be a humble salt and pepper section has since expanded into my own little aisle of shelf stable ingredients, all of which are perfect for that “lil something” that’s missing.
Chili crisp — If you are not on the chili crisp train, you’re still living in 2020. Sorry. I really hope the chili crisp affinity that the internet seemed to have a few years doesn’t ever die out complete. This stuff is crack. It’s aromatic blend of fried and fermented ingredients is just…ugh.
Sweet and salty — Molly Baz would love this. Flavoured salts, particularly this toasted coconut one from SaltWest, for desserts. It has a toasty sweetness that I’ve recently been enjoying as topper for baked goods and even on mangoes.
Spice shakers — I’ve been reaching for furikake a lot. I love this one, a collab with Doraemon. If you’re not big on nori and sesame, might I suggest a Montreal everything bagel spice instead?
Salt well — A little dish to keep your salt is all fine and well, but why settle for something simple when you could keep it in a swan handle sugar jar? Just something to keep in mind during your next thrift.
Fridge fantasies

In the game of condiments there is always room for improvement. I’ve got my got-to favourites for the usual suspects. Hot sauce, quality jams, but I need more. Here are some additions I’ve had on my mind recently that I’m kicking myself for not having stocked already.
Hot honey — This feels a bit like a chili-crisp situation. It’s 2024, how have I not aligned myself with a brand that does hot honey right? Zing does a hot honey infused not only chili, but lemongrass and lime leaf too. Mike’s Hot Honey, a viral brand, offers their signature sauce by the gallon, but it’s their portable packets of HH that really have me intrigued.
MSG — The popular and racist myth that MSG is bad for us comes from the widespread belief that eating from Chinese restaurants will give you symptoms like headaches and heartburn due to the high levels of MSG used in that type of cooking. MSG is actually a naturally occurring ingredient found in fruits and vegetables that enhances the mouth watering quality of foods, making it the perfect staple to sprinkle into endless dishes.
Unique vinegars — Acid League is a brand that has made a huge impact on the B2C food industry in just a few short years of existence. I’ve not yet tried their vinegars, despite the rave reviews they constantly get, but I’m making a note to be on the look out during my next grocery trip. Their online store is currently closed but you can find them all over North American via their website.
Hot fudge — Heaven is a 11Lb tub of hot fudge. Coop’s was conceived in an ice cream and operates today as a family owned business that is obviously concerned with quality. Their hot fudge sauce comes in both a dairy based original and a vegan option in addition to flavours like caramel and mocha. I’ve made my own hot fudge and it’s easy enough to throw together, but isn’t that the point of a good condiment selection? The trusted convenience of something flavourful?
Thanks for reading!
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Written by: Olivia Biggar (you can call me Liv)
Stoner Fruit is a sticky, juicy, fun good times newsletter
Chili crisp never hit the mark for me (I’m uncultured!) but I have filled the void with Calabrian chili paste and never looked back